Finding Your True Self
Some of us grow up wanting to please others.
Some of us please others because we respect or obey our parents,
teachers and later bosses at work.
Having your own opinions should be normal
but I know for many it is a secondary consideration.
Someone who truly loves you will always want what you know
is best for you
Don't be afraid to be yourself.
Horses live in the moment. Here Dolly is having a good old roll. Is she worried who can see her? what she looks like? No she is having fun!
Maybe she looks like us on a bad night out, but her fun is hurting no-one, it has no consequences to regret and it would give me something to do brushing off the mud.
Being yourself, living your values and beliefs, and having the power to stand up for those vaues and beliefs is often not as easy as it should be but without doingthese things we are not living our authentic self.
Horses always know.
Finding your true self
When you’re not fully yourself, your horse knows.
Many of us grow up shaping ourselves to meet others' expectations — or trying so hard not to be like them that we still lose touch with who we really are. We learn to keep the peace, to avoid conflict, to meet needs that aren’t our own. Over time, we forget what we think or want. We give so much away that we lose our centre.
That might seem like a purely human issue — but your horse notices.
When you doubt yourself, they feel it. When you suppress your feelings, they feel that too. Horses are prey animals, wired to sense even the slightest tension or instability. If you feel unsure, disconnected or small, your horse doesn’t feel safe around you. And it’s not about dominance or leadership — it’s about energetic stability and emotional honesty.
That’s why finding your true self matters so deeply in your relationship with your horse. Not some ideal version of you — just the real you. Clear, steady, grounded in your own truth.
Of course, life demands compromise. We all have jobs, families, responsibilities. But when your default is to shrink, adapt, and avoid your own needs… your horse ends up with someone who’s unsure, unpredictable, or conflicted — and that can feel threatening to them.
This is where your journey starts: not with a training method, but with a reconnection to you..
A Gentle Reflection
When was the last time you felt truly yourself with your horse
not trying, not doubting, just being?
What did your horse’s behaviour show you in that moment?
How did you feel to be completely you?
A question for your journal
Where in your life do you most give your power away?
How might reclaiming it change the way your horse responds to you?
Try journaling how you feel every time you are with our horse and how your horse is around you.
Look back on the results of your different energies.