Finding Your True Self
Some of us grow up trying to please others — parents, teachers, professionals, even peers — while our own truth fades into the background. But someone who truly loves you wants what’s best for you — and that includes your horse
Don't be afraid to be yourself.
Horses live in the moment.
Here’s Dolly, having a good old roll.
Is she worried about who might see her? What she looks like?
Not at all. She’s simply enjoying herself.
Maybe she looks like us on a messy night out — but her joy is innocent, harmless, and free of regret. And sure, it leaves me with a muddy horse to brush off… but that’s part of the fun too.
Being yourself — truly living your values and beliefs, and having the courage to stand up for them, for your sake and your horse’s — isn’t always easy. But without it, we’re not living as our authentic selves.
And your horse?
They always know.
Why It Matters for Your Horse
When you’re not fully yourself, your horse knows.
Many of us grow up bending to expectations — trying to keep the peace, avoid conflict, or earn approval. Sometimes, we even shape ourselves in opposition to others, but the result is the same: we lose touch with who we really are.
We forget what we think, feel, or need. We shrink. And while this may seem like a personal issue, your horse feels it too.
Horses are prey animals, finely attuned to subtle shifts in energy and emotion. They sense tension, doubt, and disconnection — even when we’re trying to hide it. If you’re feeling unsure, overwhelmed, or emotionally shut down, your horse will pick up on that energy. And for them, that can feel unsafe.
It’s not about dominance or control. It’s about clarity, stability, and emotional congruence. When you’re grounded in your truth — even if you don’t have all the answers — your horse feels that steadiness and can relax into your presence.
Of course, life requires compromise. We all have roles and responsibilities. But if your default is to over-adapt, please others, or push your needs aside, your horse ends up with someone who’s energetically inconsistent — and that matters more than we think.
True connection with your horse starts not with technique or training — but with reconnecting to the real you.
This isn’t about getting everything right.
Dolly taught me that.
There were times I didn’t know what I was asking, or I got things wrong — but she never held that against me. If she felt I was being real, if she knew I was doing my best and listening with my heart, she’d meet me there. Even if she didn’t understand, she’d try.
That’s the beauty of horses. They don’t need us to be perfect. They just need us to be honest.
So if you’re worried you’re not “good enough” or don’t know enough — come back to you. Not the version shaped by others. Not the one following someone else’s method. Just you — steady, present, and willing to grow.
That’s who your horse is waiting for.
A Gentle Reflection
When was the last time you felt truly yourself with your horse —
not trying, not doubting, just being?
What did your horse’s behaviour show you in that moment?
How did it feel to be completely you?
A question for your journal:
Where in your life do you most give your power away?
How might reclaiming it change the way your horse responds to you?
Try journaling how you feel each time you're with your horse —
and how your horse is around you.
Look back over time and notice the patterns.
What shifts when your energy shifts?
Sign up for Free Site Membership and Access to your Journal
This free journal will allow you quick access on your phone so that you can make notes while you are still at the stable, and everything is fresh in your mind. Create a folder on your phone for any photos you may want to keep for future reference, and enjoy the journey of a calmer happier time with your horse.
How My Coaching Can Help
If you’ve spent a lifetime moulding yourself to fit other people’s expectations — in your family, your work, or the horse world — it can feel difficult to even know who you are anymore.
My coaching creates a gentle space where you can reconnect with your true self — the version of you that your horse already sees and responds to.
Together, we’ll explore what matters most to you — not what others think you should do, or who they think you should be. You'll begin to recognise the quiet signals from your own intuition, and learn how to act from that place of inner clarity.
You’ll discover how living authentically helps your horse feel safer, more relaxed, and more connected — because you’re no longer hiding or second-guessing yourself.
And as you reconnect with the real you, you’ll begin to feel something else, too: a quiet sense of completeness. A feeling of coming home to yourself. From that place of self-acceptance and inner peace, everything — including your relationship with your horse — begins to shift.
This isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about remembering who you already are — and showing up for your horse from that place.
Let’s begin that journey together.