Overcoming Fear
When Dolly and I had problems, I was told to sell her
— that I’d never ride her again.
This is how I dressed to ride her at that time:
A back protector under my coat,
fear stiffening my body,
nervous tension in every movement.
Until I realised:
No equipment could protect me from myself.
I had to let go of fear — and reclaim trust.
Overcoming Fear with Your Horse | Calm Confidence & Trust-Based Riding
How Fear Holds You Back - In Life and
With Your Horse
Before I met Dolly, I was terrified of making decisions. Twenty-five years of being told what to do — and how to do it — had taken its toll.
But when Dolly came up for sale, I didn’t feel afraid. I just knew I couldn’t let her go to someone else. I had to have her.
For the first time, I planned for me. I asked questions, did the maths, and made it happen — I bought her.
That decision, rooted in love not fear, was the first one I made for myself alone.
It was a turning point.
When fear stops controlling your choices, you reconnect with your truth — and your horse feels that too.
How This Affects Your Horse
FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real.
We fear things that won’t physically harm us — embarrassment, discomfort, judgment.
But your horse doesn’t understand embarrassment. They understand tension.
If you feel anxious or emotionally unsettled, your horse picks up on it. Your body, breath, and energy all signal “danger” to their prey-animal brain.
You might just be nervous about riding out alone, but to your horse, your signals say: “Something’s wrong.”
And that’s why they hesitate, nap, spook, or seem unwilling.
They’re not being naughty — they’re responding to your nervous system.
Expecting them to happily march down the road with you — when you’re carrying all that internal noise — is honestly a big ask.
But fear doesn’t always come from anxiety about the past. Sometimes, it creeps in when we’ve moved too quickly — with ourselves or our horse. When we push ahead without fully understanding each step, we create invisible gaps.
Maybe a new exercise feels “good enough,” so we move on — but deep down, something didn’t quite click.
Horses sense those cracks in the foundation. They don’t always show up right away — but when they do, it can feel like resistance, confusion, or sudden fear. And we wonder, “Why is this happening now?”
The truth is, rushing leaves us unprepared. We skipped something, even if we didn’t mean to.
That unspoken instability? Your horse feels it. And that, too, can become fear — for both of you.
Horses don’t need perfection. They need clarity, calm, and emotional honesty.
When you learn to understand, allow yourself to regulate your fear and reconnect to your centre, everything changes — for both of you.
A Gentle Reflection
When was the last time you felt truly yourself with your horse,
not trying, not doubting, just being?
What did your horse’s behaviour show you in that moment?
How did you feel to be completely you?
​
A question for your journal:
​
Where in your life do you most give your power away?
How might reclaiming it change the way your horse responds to you?
​
And another question to explore:
​
Have you ever moved too fast — in life or with your horse?
Think of a time you skipped over something that didn’t feel quite right, just to keep progressing. Did you later notice signs of confusion, hesitation, or fear?
Rushing can lead to hidden gaps. Fear often shows up not as failure — but as your body or your horse’s body saying, “We’re not quite ready yet.”
What might change if you gave yourself permission to slow down, revisit the steps, and build a stronger foundation — for both of you?
Sign up for Free Site Membership and Access to your Journal
This free journal will allow you quick access on your phone so that you can make notes while you are still at the stable, and everything is fresh in your mind. Create a folder on your phone for any photos you may want to keep for future reference, and enjoy the journey of a calmer happier time with your horse.
​
How My Coaching Can Help
If fear has been holding you back — from riding, from decision-making, or from being your true self — you’re not alone.
I’ve been there. And I know how fear can ripple through every part of your horse life.
I even went to a hypnotist hoping I could override my feelings. She told me something I have never forgotten, "I can only hypnotise you to stop irrational fear. Because horseriding is a dangerous activity I cannot hypnotise you to remove the rational fear that if you fall off you will get hurt, because this is your brainn doingit's job to protect you."
This made a lot of sense because a lot of my fear was not of actually falling off, but what would happen if I injured myself badly if I did.
That was when I realised how important trust is with your horse. When you trust your horse to care for you, you can over-rule the fear that is trying to protect you.
My empowerment coaching helps you:
• Understand the roots of fear
• Reconnect with your own truth
• Regulate your nervous system
• Create a calmer, clearer connection with your horse
Through our work together, you'll discover how to turn fear into self-trust — and lead from a place of calm clarity, not control.